As part of our Dangerous Man conversations, Chris Lillehei walked us through some of the big “illusions” he’s held over time as someone who can’t stop taking Jesus and life seriously. He shared his own journey through what he now sees as illusions about: his enemies, guarantees of “salvation,” that 100% pure motives are important and possible, that “Jesus” has been so co-opted he needed to give him up and his most recent - Jesus as the social justice warrior taking names and taking people down. As he lived with each one, it felt like Jesus was on his side. Yet then that same Jesus would mess with what had seemed so clear! And he’d be nudged or moved or stretched into a new, more expansive view of himself, “God” and others.

There were many important reminders. Like the one that God and Jesus do not need credit! Sit with that one.

But the reminder I especially needed was his compassionate naming of how each of his “illusions” had served their purposes—and that he didn't need to judge himself or others harshly for having them. The dangerous impact of our closely held illusions is a different story and absolutely worth our deep discernment and discretion! But having our illusions about who we are in the scheme of things is not a sign of moral failure. It’s part of being human!

For me, this move poked at one of my own big and ongoing illusions: the idea that there is a “right” and it’s my job to know it and be it. (Or at least look right. Ugh!)

It’s one thing to seek to know what is “right” - what is healthy and good and aligned with the Ground of All Being/Source/Love. I believe that very question is behind our deepest and most sustaining relationships, like those we cultivate together as Fabric. And I believe that the practice of asking that question in each moment is what differentiates my knee-jerk reactions from my deeper (hopefully healthier, more aligned…) responses.

But my drive to BE right and LOOK right are different. They distract me from Love, at best. And they are based on the illusion that I, human Melissa, could actually be and look right all the time. How silly to even write that out. But the more important illusion this helps me name is that I need to be and look “right” in order to be safe, okay, loved.

And that brings me to this recent Substack from a favorite of mine. Choosing The Friendly Universe - by Carrie Newcomer. She begins it with these words often attributed to Albert Einstein: “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.”

It unpacks why the “illusions” we choose to live with matter, even though we will never know for sure. Here’s to the practice of asking them and living the questions together!

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Dangerous Illusions?